Balance

Balance

I’m now doing pull-ups as well as push-ups. Not my idea, but apparently, I need to “maintain balance” in a muscular sense.

I didn’t figure my few push-ups a day would cause issues, but then, I do go back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks of relative calm. I suspect there will be many more push-ups (and pull-ups) in my day.

The diet pretty much went off of the rails yesterday, during the rally. I ended up eating two meals at the end of the day to put myself into the minimum calories required. Right, this reminds me of how unhealthy grassroots automotive can be. Track weekends used to be hell for eating properly and regularly.

Posted by Opal in Exercise
They shot a movie once in my home town

They shot a movie once in my home town

I have the Tragically Hip stuck in my head right now and it’s Tim Hortons fault.

(How’s THAT for an opening line?)

They’re shooting a TV commercial on our street today for Tim Hortons. The rig they’re using to pull and light the car with the actors in it is something to see.

This, of course, means we had to negotiate with a nice police officer to get to the house after running errands today.

Which brings me to today’s 5 push-ups: was it REALLY necessary to zoom right up to me in the IKEA parking lot, as I carried that big box? What were you proving, exactly, other than you’re yet another a$$hole driver in Vaugan?

(Mental note: stay out of Vaugan.)

 

Posted by Opal in In General
Just call me Grumplestiltskin

Just call me Grumplestiltskin

I’m not known for my cheerful nature. (The boien just read that over my shoulder and chirped me… “What? I thought you were known as the happy little smurf! Tra-la-lalalala!” To which I say “Smartass.”)

Exercise is oneof those things that brings out the grump pretty quickly. Oh, I’ll exercise. I’ll get that job done. I’ll do what I can to avoid bailing early. But don’t freaking ask me to be cheerful, smiley, or chipper about the process.

In fact, I’d rather not speak for the duration, if I can avoid it. My brain more or less shuts off once I reach a certain point of exertion, and processing speech/comprehension is one of the first things to go.

And don’t even THINK about getting me to sing to set a running pace (you know who you are!).

So, you can imagine how this morning’s 6.5 km country-block run-walk went. Even the dog was tired when it was over, and that takes some effort.

In other news, trying to avoid push-ups today. Calm. Zen. CAAAAALM. But mostly ow. Amazing how a little muscle pain can convince me to behave myself. At least, so far.

Posted by Opal in Exercise
My least favourite subject: food

My least favourite subject: food

First and foremost, when I say “diet” I mean “what I am eating” NOT “my plan for losing weight.” There’s an assumption towards the later, which tends to bring out the WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! from others in my life, since even strangers will step up to tell me that I need to gain weight.

*deep breath*

To say I have a complicated relationship with food is an understatement. I’ve maintained over the last 20 years or so that I am not starving myself and that my dimensions are genetic. This is only half true in the last decade.

I do come from eerily thin stock, don’t get me wrong. In fact, as far as I can tell, I’m more or less a carbon copy of my great grandmother in terms of height and body mass. My brother is very lean (and lucky man, much taller than I am). We are both ectomorphs, which means we’re those irritating people that can eat poorly and not show it in weight gain.

Having always been small, I was encouraged (read: forced) to eat beyond what I desired in a bid to get larger. It did not make a difference, but this procedure did instill on me that I couldn’t control even what I put in my mouth. And so, when I moved out on my own, one of my first decisions was to eat what I wanted, when I wanted to. I was free! I could eat when I was hungry! I could choose my own meals! Awesome!

Except for one small problem: I really don’t experience hunger. Which means, logically, that I don’t really eat.

I get the vague idea that I should eat. Maybe. Eventually. I’m not really hungry right now… about 4x a year, I’ll actually get hungry enough to experience discomfort. Clearly, I cannot trust my body and my brain to work together on informing me that it’s time to eat.

Stress ElephantAdd on that when I experience stress, I also experience nausea or further depression of my appetite. Stress is the Elephant In The Room of my life. Everybody say hi to the Stress Elephant!

So, now what?

The only point in my life where food has worked was a few months in 2010. I had signed up for a Fitness Bootcamp and it came with an Eating Plan that featured 3 + 2 meals and a 45/35/20 ratio of carbs/protein/fat. Being one of those follow the rules kind of people, I stuck to that meal plan as if I was going to be graded and judged later.

After a few weeks, the miraculous started happening. The mood swings just … stopped. I was cheerful. I got things done. I was some uber-perky version of myself.

Then the payoff came: after 5 weeks or so, my skin cleared up. As in, people couldn’t stop telling me how great my skin looked. I’ve had acne since I was 12. I’m now 33. So trust me when I say this was a Big Deal.

And then work got crazy, I sprained one ankle and strained the other, and the inevitable slide began.

I stopped measuring my food. I started skipping meals. I gave myself permission to slack off.

And now it’s a year later and the way to go is pretty clear: get back on the plan. Set timers and reminders if I have to. Track it all and just keep trying.

You are what you eat is gross understatement. Without food, I’m a grouchy, miserable, zit-plagued depressive with a mantra of GET OFF MY LAWN!

So, today’s task is to restart the Bootcamp plan in its entirety: measure where I am and start recording the food in a meaningful way.

Posted by Opal in Diet Plan
Here we go again

Here we go again

Today is day 0.

Technically, it’s day 5, but today’s the day it really came out of my mouth: “Something’s got to change.”

And so, by way of accountability. Here we go. A change.

The problem, in brief

  • The stress is too high
  • The interests are too low
  • The way out is unclear

Stress

I’m 50% of a business. I do, theoretically, what I love, but you would honestly never know it from the way I behave. This has to change, before I go insane and the business goes kablooey. (Technical terms here, okay?)

Interests

In short, I have none. Everything I used to be absorbed by has gone by the wayside. It’s to the embarassing point now that I tell people what I used to do for fun.  You know, because I was cool at some point years ago.

The Path

There’s always a way out of the woods. Now, just to find it.

The current theory is this:

  • Fix the diet (in progress, day 5).
  • Get off my lazy, stressed butt and DO something active on a regular basis.
  • Find a hobby. Heck, diversify and find a few.
  • Learn to manage stress in a way that doesn’t involve the current solution (Clue-by-four: pretending it doesn’t exist while fuming isn’t fooling anyone, including me.)
Posted by Opal in In General